If you are, or ever were, a parent of small children then you may have experienced the following phenomenon.
It’s a busy hectic morning. Mom and Dad are both scrambling to get ready for work, make lunches for three kids and get them out the door, respond to a couple or personal email before the work day begins, clean the kitchen after breakfast so it’s not a total mess upon returning home for dinner, sign the permission slip that was due yesterday and is just now being presented as the school bus pulls in front of the house, get the garbage and recycles out to the curb, grab a few bites of a bagel in order to sustain until lunch, and get to work in time for the first meeting of the day. Sound familiar?
Add to this the constant barrage of questions that come from all angles and I know my response…tune out and go on autopilot!
When that happens I generally go into one of two modes: “yes” mode or “no” mode. I honestly make an effort to avoid “no” mode. One child psychologist, I call her mom, once counciled me that “no” is the easiest word for a parent to say. The reality is that most requests are benign and the answer, albeit requiring some effort on a parents’ part, could be “yes”. The further reality is that the “no” response only serves to get the kids upset and elicit a response such as “you never let me do what I want.”
Unfortunately, sometimes when one makes the effort to engage the “yes” mode, one falls into the trap of saying “yes” without really listening to the question at hand. I’m referring to the dismissive “yes” when the word comes from one’s mouth, but the meaning behind it is really something like “if it means you will leave me alone, then go ahead and do what you want!” Still sound familiar? You’re lying if it doesn’t!
Words of advice: start listening and understand that there is a difference between listening and hearing. We all hear the noise that is around us all the time. Human physiology makes that a passive process. However, if we truly actively listen we can distinguish between that which is noise, and that which is truly meaningful! This lesson was reinforced this morning when I responded blindly to a question amid the barrage of noise. I heard the question, but did not listen to the specific words that were asked.
I heard “Dad, can I have some cereal in a cup?” That seems benign enough and I was in “yes” mode. “Sure, you can take a little,” I responded quickly.
Apparently the key word amid the noise to which I should have paid greater attention was the word “my”. In this context there is a huge difference between the words “a cup”, which I interpret as one of the many kid cups that we have in the cabinet, and “my cup”. You see, we don’t have assigned drinking cups in our home. Therefore, the possessive “my” cup should have immediately clued me in to the one specific cup that is his, and his alone!
Rachel and I have decided to participate in the 2011 JDRF Ride for the Cure at the Tour de Tahoe. Please let me tell you why.
For the past several years my family has been involved in the Walk for the Cure. The Walk is the main event in JDRF‘s efforts to raise money to find a cure for Type 1 Diabetes. Well, there is still no cure, and as a result 2 of my three sons must do many things every day that other kids their age don’t have to worry about.
- My two sons still need to check their blood sugar multiple times every day.
- They continue to be tethered to insulin pumps.
- They continue to be hooked up to continuous glucose monitors.
- They get needle sticks to change those insulin pump sites every three days.
- They go to the school nurse to have their blood sugar checked when other kids go right to gym or lunch.
- They sit on the sidelines of the lacrosse game because their blood sugar bottomed out even though it’s their shift to play.
- They watch other kids eat all of the things that they truly desire but know would be very bad for them to eat.
- They have to remember to never leave the house without their “kits”…the supplies that the require to take everywhere they go.
- They trade in their Halloween candy.
- They wear medical identification everywhere they go…or at least they’re supposed to….(Matt, are you wearing an ID today???).
- They add up every carbohydrate for every meal and snack they eat.
- They end up in the hospital when they get a routine stomach bug.
- They get woken up in the middle of the night, sometimes more than once, to have their blood sugar checked and they’re tired the next day because of it.
- They have parents who have not slept through the night since the day of their diagnosis.
- They have a brother who wonders whether or not some day he will become diabetic.
They have to do all of this, and more, in order to avoid immediate life threatening emergencies and/or long term co-morbidities of T1D such as heart disease, blindness, neuropathy, and kidney disease.
I’m tired of waiting for the cure…I’m tired of walking…it’s time to step up the pace!!
To those of you who know me, it’s no secret that I need to work on getting myself into better physical shape – that is not an invitation for snide remarks in reply – You’ll see that I’ll handle that on my own shortly if you keep reading. It’s also no secret that Rachel and I have worked tirelessly to raise money to help cure Type 1 Diabetes. So, it seems that an opportunity to put the two together is the perfect combination!! This year our South Jersey JDRF Walk takes place on a weekend that we will be in Boston celebrating the Bat Mitzvah of one of our cousins. Although we won’t be here for our Walk this year, Rachel and I feel strongly that we need to continue our efforts in funding the research that will come up with a cure for our sons. At the same time we acknowledge that the training regimen for the walk does not accomplish my goal of losing weight and improving fitness. So in an effort to continue our JDRF fund raising efforts, and in the interest of transforming my abdominal keg back into a six pack, we have decided to step up the pace of both our exercise routine and our fund raising.
Yesterday we registered to participate in the JDRF Ride to Cure Diabetes in Lake Tahoe in September. We will be riding the 72 mile circumference of Lake Tahoe with lots of others who have the same goal. As we train over the next few months, and as we ride through the High Sierras, we’ll be focusing on that long list of stuff that my kids need to do, and hope that it inspires us to pedal our way through the ride to help cure Type 1 Diabetes.
What can you do to help? Well, if you’re up for one of the most scenic bike rides in all of the United States and want to help raise money for a great cause, then click this link to sign up and join us.
If you’re not that ambitious, but you are feeling generous, then please feel free to click in this link (http://www2.jdrf.org/goto/teamkasper) and make a donation to help support our cause….we would truly appreciate the support!
I know that riding 72 miles in the Sierra Nevada mountains won’t be easy. But it’s nothing compared to the feat that my kids, and everyone else with T1D, accomplish every day in beating this disease. I know we can beat it for good, and I’m not gonna stop trying until we do!